Drained.

Today is Friday, which means the weekend, which means I have the next 2 days to myself. And honestly, they couldn't have come at a better time. For the past couple weeks, with this past week being especially so, I have just felt completely drained in every way one could be. I feel as if I desperately need a vacation. And not a vacation in the sense that I feel like I need to go somewhere or do something special, but more in the sense that I just need time off. Luckily, I leave for Paris next week for a long weekend, but even that doesn't feel like a vacation--because it's not. It's just a long weekend. I just feel as if I need time, like minimum a week, to have totally to myself to do whatever I want and to most importantly: NOT DO ANY DISHES! (I'm not joking when I say I spend at least 1-2 hours a day just washing dishes..) I don't want to come off as complaining, because I am an Au Pair, and it's what I signed up for. But the aspect that I wasn't really prepared for, is the fact that at the end of every day, even when I am done with looking after Emilian, and the cleaning and laundry and everything that goes with it, I still live where I work, and this has proven to be the most difficult. When I am having a bad day or something, when I finally have my alone time, I am still in my "workplace" essentially. Which doesn't exactly have that sense of leaving work behind to go home and relax and do what you want. Because most of the time when I am done with "work" and I come down the stairs to my room, I feel guilty that I am not helping if I can hear Emilian crying, or when I hear Lisa cooking or something. It's hard for me to 100% relax, and therefore, I feel as if a vacation of some sort is desperately needed. But I don't see it happening any time soon. With that all being said, I'm going to go shower and maybe lay in bed and read some more from my new book that Bertus bought me--I'll be back to post about my current reads soon ;) Back again soon.
xoxo
Megan