USA! USA! USA!

In the spirit of the Olympics (which of course, I have seen almost nothing of, considering the fact that even though Deutschland always does extremely well in the winter games, no one here gives a shit/watches them), I decided to write another entry about some of the observations of my home nation, and my newly adopted one. Specifically, I would like to dive into the matter of why the United States in the last remaining 'Super Power' and Germany is not. Let's break an egg of knowledge on you, shall we?
Now first let's get the easy arguments out of the way. Many say that the main reasons that the US was able to maintain this title of "Super Power" is because we have been fortunate enough to have never experienced modern warfare on our own soil, our money (at one time--certainly not any more...) was backed by gold and became the reserve currency for many countries around the world (to my non-History majors/nerds: see 'Bretton Woods'), and of course because of our advanced military strength and capabilities (we spend ANNUALLY 607 Billion-yes, with a B-on military, the country in second place for spending: China, with a measly 85 Billion.. what a bunch of suckers). Now, if you happen to be reading this from a Conservative Southern Red State, if you ask the people around you why 'Merica is the last Super Power, they'll most likely tell you 3 simple things: Freedom, Liberty, and Justice for all! (although, if anyone who like myself has studied political science in depth, you would also know that by definition liberty and freedom cannot technically co-exist). But that is neither here nor there.
So with this all out of the way, we can further explore my theories on why the US is REALLY the world's last Super Power:
Sports: Because the idea for this blog all started because I was thinking about the Olympics, I think its best to begin with the idea of sports. We put A LOT of money into sport programs at all levels in the States, which allows for our athletes to be able to constantly get better and excel. Hence our current high medal count in Vancouver.
Price is Right: I mean honestly, how else can you learn the true value of things like Bayer Aspirin, a new dinette set, or of course A NEW CAR!!!! without Plink-O in your life? Let alone know when to start getting ready for your PM Kindergarten class.
Mac'n'Cheese: I find it truly disturbing that Germans don't know the magic of The Blue Box..
Dryers: Thank God I am one of the lucky to live in a house here in Germany were my family has actually purchased a dryer to go along with the washer. However, we are an extreme exception to the rule (and trust me, Germans love rules). Until dryers to go with the washer is standard, Germany can forget about being Super Power status.
Large Dishwashers/Fridges: Again, luckily when it comes to the fridge, my family here is an exception to the rule, and has a large refrigerator (aka, a "normal" sized one to us Americans) However, the same can not be said for the dishwasher. Booooo.
Size/Land Mass: The Third Reich measured power of a state based on the total area of land that it would have.. hence why they tried to take more. But if thinking this way, of course the US can be seen as a Super Power. It's huge. And unlike Russia that has a large inhabitable area (Siberia, anyone?) or China that.. wait.. hmm.. I guess we should keep our eye on them.. we have varying climates and terrain. Which is, obviously, awesome. And plus, where else can you find both ' The Happiest Place on Earth' and 'Sin City' in one place/country? Granted, they're 2350 miles apart... BUT the answer my friends, is NO WHERE but the U.S of A.
Ice: Simply put, you can't sit back and reflect on your Super Powerness and enjoy a refreshingly extra cold beverage without it. Think about it.
Solo Cups: These make beer pong, flip cup and all around house parties possible. If Beerfest was a real thing, there is now way a German team could make it to the finals, because they would flat out fail at the two above mentioned events.
Smiles: Germans definitely tend to abide by the rule that when walking you should avoid eye contact with anyone that may walk by. So I don't know why I am always surprised when walking in the park and passing someone when I get nothing but a blank stare after I smile and say "Hallo".

With all the above being fact, it could be said that Canada also could qualify as a "Super Power" because they too enjoy all of the above (and not to mention Universal Healthcare). However, part of their population speaks French, which clearly makes any of their possible arguments for Super Power status null and void.

Now that you are covered in the whites and yolks of eggs of knowledge, I will leave you with the eloquent words of Kenny Powers: "Sure I've been called a Xenophobe, but the truth is, I'm not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren't as good. That used to be called Patriotism."